"You're the new Adam and Eve. Go on, proc…" — Itsuki Koizumi Quote

"The Santa that showed up at my Kindergarden Christmas festival? I knew he was fake. And I never saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, either. But I have to say, even as a little kid I knew better to believe in some old man who worked only one day a year."

— Kyon · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"I didn't abduct her. It was voluntary arrest."

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"Celebrating Mr. Jesus's birthday (Christmas) was fun, why don't we celebrate Buddha's and Muhammad's birthday next time?"

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"Emblem? Looks like a grumbling, drunken tapeworm to me."

— Kyon · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"... After all, our goal each year should be to increase the NUMBER of goals we set for ourselves!"

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"I thought that everyone in Japan had to be packed in there. So I turned to my dad and asked him,"Do you know how many people are here right now"? He said probably fifty thousand, since the stadium was full. I was only one little person in that big crowded stadium filled with people, and there were so many people there, but it was just a handful out of the entire population. Up till then, I always thought that I was, I don't know, kind of a special person. It was fun to be with my family. I had fun with my classmates. And the school that I was going to, it had just about the most interesting people anywhere. But that night, I realized it wasn't true. All the stuff we did during class that I thought was so fun and cool, was probably happening just like that in classes in other schools all over Japan. There was nothing special about my school at all."

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya