"Actually... Ponytails turn me on... that…" — Kyon Quote

"*to Haruhi* I'm begging you. Establish the context before you start talking."

— Kyon · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"What else would I be here for? To illegally enter the premises, of course."

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"*commenting on Haruhi's naming of the SOS brigade* Haruhi's incomprehensible words settled the matter. Oh, joy. Just do whatever you want."

— Kyon · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"Does it hurt? Relish the taste, because it is going to be the last sensation you feel in this life."

— Asakura Ryouko · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"I thought that everyone in Japan had to be packed in there. So I turned to my dad and asked him,"Do you know how many people are here right now"? He said probably fifty thousand, since the stadium was full. I was only one little person in that big crowded stadium filled with people, and there were so many people there, but it was just a handful out of the entire population. Up till then, I always thought that I was, I don't know, kind of a special person. It was fun to be with my family. I had fun with my classmates. And the school that I was going to, it had just about the most interesting people anywhere. But that night, I realized it wasn't true. All the stuff we did during class that I thought was so fun and cool, was probably happening just like that in classes in other schools all over Japan. There was nothing special about my school at all."

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"Anyone accepting defeat will be punished by running ten laps around the school, naked! And you'll have to yell "Green Martians are chasing me!" for the whole ten laps!"

— Haruhi Suzumiya · The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya