"Tedium is such a crime. It takes the limited amount of time that is given to man, and rather than spending it in indolence or drowning it in pleasure it just sits there sucking, eating it up. I can't put up with that, tedium is a crime! Death to tedium! Die!"

"This world is mine. I think this world may even just be a long, long dream I'm watching. You guys may just be illusions, and it can't be proven whether or not you really exist either. In other words, this world was created with me at the center. So what will happen if I die? I don't know. My imagination isn't very creative"

"I'm going to kill you, have a beautiful laugh, then dance until I go mad."

"Depending on who you place in the same situation, the characteristics of said incident change kaleidoscopically. In other words, there is one incident"

"Cast aside the illusion that there is a beginning and end to the story. The story has no beginning. And it has no end. All there is, is a performance of people connecting, living, influencing each other, and departing."

"Imagine what'd happen if I let someone like you loose on a bunch of politicians and scientists. You'd have them brainwashed in three days flat. First, you'd whisper your promises into their ears, getting them interested, and before they knew it, they'd be eating out of your goddamn hand. One of those scientists would say, "Hey, this Huey fella, I think he's a really swell guy. We should talk to him and see what sort of information he might share with us". And you can bet your ass by that point his brain would already be dribbling out his ears. Then oh, look, a strap on your straight jacket came loose, and oh, the next day they walk in and find out everyone in the lab is dead, and oh, Huey fucking Laforet is nowhere to be fucking seen! Oh no, oh what ever shall we fucking do Mr. Talbot, please do something even though you told us this exact thing was going to happen and we ignored you like the fucking idiots we are... and then they'll try and get me to find you, but you know what? I'll say no! Lemme say that again! No! Once more for good measure! Read my lips! Enn! Oh! No!"

"Depending on your request, whether I will laugh or get angry - that will decide your lifespan, boy."